Positive.

Hey, long time no see!

So I've had a bit of a strange day. I realised earlier that I've put most of the weight that I lost at the end of last year back on, just from the way clothes I was trying on fit. At first this really upset me and I immediately thought about depriving myself of whatever it was I was about to eat and felt liek shit etc, and then I stopped and thought. I've had a blast the last couple of months, yes I've been eating a lot but I've been *enjoying* it, discovering amazing new places to eat, yes spending too much money on it all but hell, it's been fun. I've been social, I've pushed myself in new situations and battled my anxiety. It's been so hard but I've felt so proud of myself.

Yes this has meant weight gain, yes this has meant that I can't see my hip bones and back bones and collar bones as much as I used to, but so what, I'm happy. Why should I let my bones of lack of define who I am, and my happiness. I'm still healthy, I'm still working out and living and active lifestyle, and I'm not going to let whether I can fit into, or not fit into, jeans that I bought when I was 14 define how I feel about myself. Yes I might be a size bigger than whatever it is in my head is happy with, but that's not me, and I'M happy.

I know it's been a while and ALOT has happened in my personal life and I'll make a proper update soon about all that, but I just wanted to document this so that I can look back on it when my motivation is down and see that my bones and my weight do not define me. My personality, my drive and my passion define me.

Thank you and good night lol.