I feel horrible. Sick. Fat. Stupid. I feel like I've been gaining, gaining, gaining the last couple of weeks. I know I've been stress eating. I've made that all to familiar switch from stress restricting to stress eating. I'm really worried about how unhappy I feel. How unsettled. How much I just want to run away and start again. Sometimes I wish I was 16 again and I could redo everything from then onwards, and then at least I also felt justified in feeling this messed up. I feel like such a failure for not being successful and where I want to be yet. I look around at all the people I went to school with and they're all in good jobs, or in other countries, doing a Masters, earning good money, and I've just started again at college. I feel like such a waster. I feel like I'm going to mess this up.
I KNOW I need to stop wishing my life away but I wish that the wedding was over by now. Meh. I want to write more but I feel too pathetic. What the fuck is the point really anyway?
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I found your blog and I just wanted to say I know how you feel. I always wish I could go back to when I was 16 because I could make different decisions and hope that maybe my life would've taken a different path. However, then I realize I really love my husband, my dog, my job, etc and if anything had changed in the past, I may not have them in my life today. I'm sendin you hope and faith and I hope you keep fighting!!
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