Confused, need some advice.

I'm feeling kinda on the edge of tears today and I'm not really sure why. Nothing bad has happened, I guess I'm just feeling down and so confused. I've been confused about a lot lately. I actually feel like I have ambition for the first time in my life. There's a lifestyle that I'm aiming for, and I'm not sure how to get there yet, but I know I'm prepared to work hard to get there. Before I kept telling myself to just go back to working in an office in a job I hate with no real prospects just so we can pay the bills etc, but I don't want to do that. That wouldn't make me happy. I want to embrace all of the things that I love doing. I want to travel and see the world. I want to see things, do things, experience as much as I can. I'm sick and tired of being scared of everything and I want to embrace the amazing things that go on in the world that I've spent so long shying away from.

I guess I'm a little scared that I know that that isn't what my bf wants to do I dont think. I know he's more of a comfortable home person, and I thought I was too. But I'm starting to realise now that I'm in a better place in my head that there's so much I want to do with my life. I'm not happy sitting at home every evening in front of the tv. I love curling up on the couch with him and spending time together, but not as the only thinbg we do. I want to experience all of these things with him, and I guess I just feel a little like he's holding me back. I love him so, so much, but sometimes I wish he'd play a more active role in his own life. I know with all he's been through he just wants a quiet life and that it's easier for him to numb out than really try and put some effort into doing things BUT that's not me anymore. I'm tired of looking forward to the weekends because that's the time I/we have to go and do amazing things and then just spending them sat on the couch because we cant be arsed to go out or do anything. I try and talk to him about all these things but he just closes off and wont talk. I'm not sure what to do. I've been cutting myself off from really looking for opportunities for myself because I knew that I wouldn't be able to do them practically being with him.

I just don't know what to do.