A break through :-)

So I had a bit of a realisation today, a kind of 'A-ha!' moment. The last few months I've been massively struggling with the fact that I'm constantly surrounded by food and in situations where I'm controlling food that I make, whether it's for myself, other people, college, my portfolio, projects, etc. I mean I'm doing a professional baking and cake decorating course at college for fudge sake. I'd started to panic that this was both feeding and elevating my eating disorder and that having to be in situations where I was required to control food was not a good thing.

But then I realised something. I realised that I am passionate about creating food, especially amazing cakes, bakes and desserts, and this IS what I want to do with my life. I absolutely love it. I realised that if I want to get where I want to be in life I need to just accept the fact that I'm always going to obsessive and obsessing about food. I'm always going to be around it and I'm never going to find it easy BUT maybe thats ok. Maybe that is what is going to set me apart from the rest of the pack. I'm infinitely interested in everything to do with the creation of amazing food, and I love to experiment and the fact that food is constantly on my mind plays in my favour.

Whether is creating, baking, cooking, desigining, consuming, not consuming, food IS going to be the main part of my life. I've realised that my fear of this has been holding me back and letting this go will allow me to achieve my full potential. I have SO much ambition and I'm so ready to taking the steering wheel in my life. I'm beyond ready. I can't wait to start this journey with this new perspective.