Positive

I only have five minutes to update because I'm having a super busy day and just waiting for my second load of washing to finish so I can put the third in before I go out. I'm feeling really super anxious at the moment because it's Dave's first day on dayshift, and I know that it's going to be really difficult adjusting to the new shift for both of us. He's been on night shift for the last 6 years, and that's a seriously long time to not do a normal 9-5, and I'm so proud of him for making such a big change in his life for a positive reason so he can have more time to find what he wants to do in life. Anyway, like I've said before, I'm really anxious about not having evenings to myself anymore, and that I'll have to start eating more normally. I'm going to be doing the cooking in the evening though, so at least I still have the control of deciding and making what we eat.

This weekend wasn't good food wise. I binged on Saturday pretty bad BUT I didn't purge, which both made me feel proud of myself, and like a MASSIVE failure at the same time. My stomach seriously didn't appreciate it and I spent most of the night in seeeeerious pain. I didn't punish myself though, when I woke up on Sunday, I wanted to starve all day, but I didn't, I made myself eat normally and healthily and that made me feel quite proud, but unfortunately also made me feel soooooo big!

I'm really trying to be serious about getting better at the moment, I have some seriously big reasons to be healthy right now, and I need to hold onto them as hard as I can during the bad days. I know I can do it this time, I AM going to be happy and healthy.