Getting blamed for other people's mistakes.

So, I'm having a bit of a nightmare of a day and it's not even midday. It started really well though, I got up early and waved the bf off to work, did a bit of reading and tidying and was feeling pretty good. It was a crystal clear day and the sky looked so blue, and it's like minus 3 degrees so there was icicles hanging off everything and it was all so pretty.

I had an appointment at half 10 so I got ready and headed out. I started feeling really crappy when I was walking there and started getting stabby stabby pains in my stomach. I arrived at what should've been a super quick 5 minute appointment and then I have an order for a cake to do for this afternoon so I was thinking in my head I'd be back by 11 which would give me 5 hours to do the cake, which was pretty much just about enough. After sitting there for 20 minutes I was called over and told that this appointment was meant to be a much more extensive interview and that it was meant to be last week (I actually have a letter with my appointments on which they gave me, so I know for a fact they didn't tell me this) and that they were now doing me a favour by getting it rescheduled for 1pm today and that I'd have to 'make my case' for why I didn't attend this appointment last week.

So I left there at about 11 with one of those like 'what just happened' faces and now with the added annoyance that I had to go back for an 'extensive' appointment in two hours. I rushed home to see if I could get the cake baked quickly, and then maybe, possibly I might have time to finish it quickly when I got back after my appointment. Bad idea! I forget how unbelievably clumsy I become when I'm rushing and long story short I managed to drop the eggs that I needed and break just enough of them that I now don't have enough to make it. Awesome. So I DEFINITELY do not have time to go out, get more eggs, come back and get the cake baked before I have to leave to go back to my frickin appointment and at best I'll only have 2 hours when I get home before he leaves and that's simply just not enough time to complete it. So, I've had to just ask really really apologetically if tomorrow would be ok to deliver in instead and now I'm feeling like such a massive failure for letting him down, even though it's because of someone else's fuck up. Arrgghhh!!! And this is all on top of the insane amount of anxiety I have whenever plans get changed! I'm so annoyed, and while all this has been going on my stomach pains have been getting worse and all I wanna do is curl up in a ball and sleep all day. I've got about an hour now before I have to leave for my appointment again and I kinda just want to go for a walk and calm down but it's really icy everywhere so I think I'm going to try and settle to my book for a little bit.