Finding 'Me'.

The bf and I are going to Manchester to stay in a nice hotel and have the Valentine's day that we didn't get to have. It'll be so nice to get away, even if it's just for the night. I've been trying on clothes all morning, you know when you just get into that mindset where everything you put on makes you feel MASSIVE. I finally picked an outfit I think is cute, and was firm with myself and decided that it doesn't matter if I feel like I look fat, or even if I do look fat, what does it matter? I mean that in a positive way, I mean that so many things have happened the last few months, and when worrying about my appearance should have been waaaaaaay down the list, it was always at the forefront, and I know that it's not just that simple. Its not like it's actually my appearance that is the big issue, that's not what the eating disordered part of me is. Argh, I don't know if this is making any sense. Anyway, the point is is that today I am just going to do my best to enjoy myself, not to worry what I look like, what I feel like, and I'm just going to see if I can find 'Me' again.

I love this outfit. Not feeling exactly confident, but it's time to stop worrying and start living.